Recently one of my clients was looking for a job and realized how miserable she was feeling in the process. She resisted asking for help because she thought she'd feel too vulnerable or that people would judge her or pity her. As a result of our coaching together, she agreed to ask for help, just as an experiment.

What she experienced was better than she could have imagined. Yes, she got great advice and valuable contact names which propelled her forward. But more importantly and unexpectedly, she felt energized by the experience. The process of looking for a job went from an energy drain that left her feeling "less than", to an energy source that helped her to feel capable, resourceful and empowered.

Why the shift? Well, the experience reminded her of a few key things:
· Engaging with others who are supportive feels better than being isolated. You don't have to do it alone.
· It's not realistic that we know what to do at all times. Asking for help is normal.
· People are glad share what they know.
Somewhere along the journey of our lives, many of us have bought into the notion that we shouldn't ask for help; we should be able to do it on our own; that it makes us weak or that others will judge us.

Who says? What if the opposite were true? What if, when you asked for help, it was a sign of inner strength and people respected you for having the courage and wisdom to ask? Think about it...think about the illusions and judgments that we make unconsciously that influence this act of asking for help.

Notice what rules you have about asking for help. Some popular ones are:
· I'll be indebted
· I'll look incapable
· They might think I'm lazy
· I'll appear vulnerable or weak
· I should be able to do this myself
What are yours? Notice if they're similar to your rules about receiving, last month's topic.

What if the opposite were true about your rules? Open up to that possibility.

Notice the impact on the other person when you ask for help. People generally want to be of service and asking for help is a way of acknowledging and valuing their skills and talents.


Next month: Shaky Legs

What's Juicy this month? Fresh berries.

How does this relate to Asking for Help you ask? It doesn't. But, I think it's worth mentioning.

We're coming up on summer and this is just a friendly reminder to get outside and enjoy the best that the season brings - Outdoor concerts, summer holidays, picnics, longer evenings, flowers in bloom, bike rides, warm breezes...And for those of you reading this in the southern hemisphere, my apologies. Playing in the snow is fun too.

Enjoy!
Lisa